Friday, May 1, 2009

Top Ten Rejected Titles

I have a thing about Top Ten lists, ever since watching Letterman as a kid. I try to always have one when I present or MC a conference, so I thought I'd share the list I did last weekend.

To understand three of them better, FYI: Julie Wright, J. Scott Savage, and Dean Lorey are authors who were also guests. So, yeah, you kinda had to be there, but here ya go.

Top Ten Rejected Titles by this Year's Conference Attendees:

10. The Very Old Ladies Detective Agency, Book 1: The Case of the Missing Teeth

9. Morotica: Short Stories of Sexy Mormon Fiction

8. Pants: A History

7. Harry Potter and the Colonoscopy Gone Wrong

6. I Can't Quit Talking: The Julie Wright Story

5. Adverbs for Dummies: How to cleverly and excitingly add lots of superbly written lovely adverbs to make a sadly short book into a wonderfully long one with dumbfoundingly good descriptions.

4. Fungus McGillicuddy and the Toilet of Doom

3. Get Your Fat On: How to Gain Fifty Pounds in Fifty Days

2. Dean Lorey's 101 Ways to Take a Shower

1. J. Scott Savage: My Life in Pictures

In other news, my agency sold the audio rights for Books 2 and 3 of THE MAZE RUNNER to Listening Library, so it's now official that the entire trilogy will be on audio, both on CD and for download. LL is the same company that does Harry Potter, Twilight, and many others.

Only one week until I leave for my prepublicity buzz tour!!!


Anonymous said...

Ha! I'm the first one, thanks to the fact that I'm two hours ahead of your time.

I'm trying to think of another word to use besides 'Congratulations', but hey, if it ain't broke...

Way to go!! Have fun on your pre-publicity tour! It's all very cool and you deserve it. (At least, I think you do. Judging from your previous posts, you've certainly dedicated a lot of time and energy to your craft.) Kudos to your wife as well. As a fellow writer myself, I realize how important it is to have a supportive spouse.

AND get this...the Dashnog word is 'bless'. No joke. No need for a definition here.

Deborah said...

The list of ten things was one of your best presentations. Sort of on par with the conference two years ago when you and Tristi made such an impact.

angiechapiglet said...

Very Funny...will you please call me at the store. I have a favor to ask you :)

Diva Donna said...

Hmmm top ten. We should do a top ten Dashnog definitions list. Just a thought.
Good luck on the prepub tour and try not to become too neurotic as you get ready to go out and face the big mean world. Just remember that it's just a business trip like any other only WAY more fun!!!!
Good luck out there.

James Dashner said...

Donna, do a top ten dashnog list and email it to me. Then I'll post it. Please?

prerad: how you feel right before a really big event in your life. Like a prepub tour.

Magenta said...

Those titles are funny! Especially the Adverbs for Dummies.

You think you can tell me where you'll go on the buzz tour? What is a buzz tour anyway? Will you come to Florida???

Wow! My Dashnog is an actual word too! "Dotes." The present tense of doting. Soon I bet there won't be any need for made-up Dashnog words and the verification will just be good for significant messages. Like, they're telling you to do something.

So, nkrell needs to bless, and I need to dote on someone. Apparently. ^,^

Magenta said...

Ha ha! I told you! It's happening already! The word is swarm now! Another real word... how mysterious.

Kimberly said...

For some reason, Pants: A History cracked me up the most.

Have fun!

Graham Chops said...

The one that had me reeling the whole time was the Julie Wright zinger. Especially 'cause she wasn't in the main room to hear the joke, 'cause she was out in the hall, TALKING! :-) hahaha

Dashnog: gamzaff. A spoof of David Letterman's top 10

Laura said...

Get Your Fat on, How to Gain Fifty Pounds in Fifty Days...
Who's the expert on that one? Does anyone really know how to do it. Call me crazy, but I think that one would actually sell.

Doshnog word:
anticicraze- fretting nervously while waiting for something big

Heather B. Moore said...

Thanks for posting the whole list. I came in about half way through, so I didn't get to hear them all. You had Julie down perfect :)

LexiconLuvr said...

Loved this list and you did a great job as MC!

Good luck on the pre-pub tour. I'm sure you'll kick trash!

Eowyn said...

Love the top ten list.

Did I ever tell you that I enjoyed number two immensely and that I actually read it clear back in December or January because a friend lent me an ARC (who shall remain nameless because I'm pretty sure he'd get in trouble if "they" found out.)

Congrats again on the Whitney win!

James Dashner said...

Thanks, Eowyn! I love hearing stuff like that.

Heather, I'll work you in to the top ten next year. You've been warned.

Lex, kick trash is exactly what I plan to do!!!!

Arlene said...

I'm surprised they let you have the mic that long.


James Dashner said...




J.N. Future Author said...

number 6 is my favorite ^.^ anyone that knows her knows that is the truth!

she is so cool ^.~

Stephanie Black said...

Love the Top Ten. I'm pretty sure my son would want to read Fungus McGillicuddy.

Congrats on the audio!

numberonedashnerfan said... family owns 11 fish and one froggie!!!....dashner do u have any tips on how to be as cool as tiki

numberonedashnerfan said...

oh and by the way I like # 5 the best..dont know why but i do...word moutor def motor bike....

Sheila said...

I just love those! It was fun reading them again. One of the best things at the conference!

Ballerina said...

LOL:)! Cool!!! ~Eva

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