Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Well, since it's officially summer, and I'm officially sweating, I thought I'd post a Top Ten list I did last year. Most of you are new to the Dashner Dude since then, so I hope you enjoy.
And hey, Amy left a golden opportunity for someone in the comments on my previous post. She's finished her advance copy of THE MAZE RUNNER and is willing to mail it to the first person who contacts her. Thanks Amy, and may the fastest person win!
Here's my list:
Top Ten Reasons I Hate Hot Weather
10. Often creates situations where two of the most unpleasant words in the English language are put together: SWEATY and ARMPITS.
9. Woman on street: Large. Her shorts: Small.
8. Ski resorts are closed. Answer me this: How come (I love those 2 words) we can send a man to the moon but can't figure out how to ski on dirt? Churn it up, make it soft, make some special skis. Come on!
7. LOST is not on TV. Neither is football. AMERICA'S GOT TALENT is. 'Nuff said.
6. Lots of people have no problem figuring out the first item to cut when a recession hits: deoderant.
5. When you get back into your parked car, it feels like Smaug the Dragon just sneezed the eternal flames of heck (I have young readers) inside.
4. Everyone likes to swim. Everyone wants to swim. Why do people like to swim? Wouldn't you rather be skiing? Why is it that when we swim, it's suddenly okay for everyone to see everyone else in their underwear, which 99 times out of 100 is a very unpleasant experience? Can you imagine going into the office for work one day and everyone was just chillin' in their swimsuits? Ew.
3. The kids are out of school. Um, no, um, I mean, rather, um, this is a reason why I LOVE summer! Yeah, that's it.
2. You can see everyone's feet. You can see everyone's stinky, long-nailed, dirty-bottomed, callused, toe-jam infested feet. Feet are disgusting. I can barely look at mine, let alone yours. Give me cold weather, heavy socks, and snow boots any day.
1. It means we're a LONG way from Turkey Day, my birthday, and Christmas, the best 30 day period of the year.
Posted by James Dashner at 2:13 PM