Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Eight Random Things

Well, I've been "tagged" twice now, so I guess I should be a non-loser and do as I'm told. Thanks to Rachelle and Luisa for this dubious honor. I think I will use Luisa's theme, which is to tell you eight completely random things about me. I will make them as stupid as possible.

1. I have a brother (Paul) who thinks he has beautiful feet. In fact, he likes to share this with anyone who is willing to listen. I find it quite disturbing.

2. One of my favorite meals is toast, smothered in peanut butter, dipped in hot tomato soup. If you cringed at this instead of my brother's obsession with his own feet, then something is wrong with you.

3. When I was a kid, I was so obsessed with the Atlanta Braves that I kept a scrapbook. I would cut out the box score from the newspaper for every game and glue it in my book. When I lived in Japan, my wonderful mom sent me the newspaper clippings for every Braves playoff game (though I'd finally quit the scrapbook business).

4. When I was eleven, I visited my sister, Lisa, and her family at Virginia Beach for a whole month in the summer. I became friends with all the rugrats in the apartment complex, and somehow convinced them that I was a guardian angel sent to watch over them. They did anything I commanded. True story, and I am ashamed.

5. When I was four, I opened every Christmas present under the tree while all my older siblings were away at school and my mom was upstairs. In a moment of sheer genius, I put all the presents back under the tree and hid the mounds of wrapping paper behind the dryer. Somehow, my mom figured it out and rewrapped all the presents before the kids got home. The only one I remember is that my brother (who is obsessed with his pretty feet) received a Slinky.

6. When I was in Middle School, I was part of a competition called Odyssey of the Mind. We won the Georgia Championship and went to the World Finals in Arizona. We lost. Terribly. But I got a free trip to Arizona and saw the Grand Canyon.

7. I hate peas. I hate them like I hate eating sourkraut that's been rubbed on Paul's feet. I despise them. They are evil.

8. I use the best-smelling deoderant known to man. It's called Degree, Clean Shower scent, and it is divine. My armpits smell like a little piece of sunshine wrapped in honeysuckle. When I play basketball, my friends will often stop and ask if they may take a closer whiff of said armpits. I always decline. (Okay, that last part isn't true, but only because they would be too embarrassed to admit they want to smell my armpits.)

Have a wonderful day. And seriously, go buy some Degree deoderant, Clean Shower scent.

32 comments:

Luisa Perkins said...

Oh, I haven't laughed that hard at a blog post in ages. Thanks for playing!

Tamra Norton said...

Oy, James. Trust me--no one wants to smell your pits (good smelling or not).

Have you tried frozen peas? They're not nearly as pukey/puky as canned peas.

Love the Christmas story!

Danyelle said...

James, you are just hilarious!

BTW - I love peanut butter sandwiches with my tomato soup. Have you tried peanut butter sandwiches with chicken noodle soup? That one's really good, too.

Kimberly said...

You call that boring? Pish!

Peanut butter and bacon. I'm telling ya. A winning combination.

And I love that deodorant. Seriously. I dated a guy that used it and would snuggle in close for the smell alone.

James Dashner said...

Frozen peas? Frozen peas?

Here, let me ask you a question, Norton. You probably don't like to eat dog poo. Well, let me freeze some up for ya. Then are ya game?

Frozen, unfrozen, cooked, uncooked, no matter. I despise peas. I mean, who wants to eat green, slimy, miniature balls that taste like BO? No thanks.

I have tried PB with chicken noodle, but it just isn't as good. There's something magical about that union of PB and tomato.

Bacon and PB? Hmmm. Sounds intriguing.

SarahK said...

Good grief that's funny. At least you didn't attempt to pee on Aunt E while sleepwalking. Or eat dog poo.

James Dashner said...

My sister is referring to two true incidents in the annals of Dashner lore. Neither involved me, thank goodness.

SarahK said...

I never did ANYTHING weird...

Tamra Norton said...

Snow peas?

Tristi Pinkston said...

Okay, you've convinced me. I'll go get some of that deodorant for Matt. After all, who wouldn't want to smell Just Like You??

Did you ever tell your brother to rub some Degree on his feet?

James Dashner said...

Snow peas? I won't say what that made me think of.

Tristi, you'll never regret the switch. Take mine and Kim's word for it. You'll start classing the word "Armpit" with such things as roses and winterfresh gum.

Rachelle said...

James,
You are hilarious! I've been playing catch up and am still laughing over the alleged #2 serial killer comments from a few posts ago.
Please no tomato soup, but I love a peanut butter and banana sandwich with yogurt. Now that's good.
Maybe you should buy stock in Degree deodorant, I'm sure there's going to be a run on all the stores since Mr. Famous Author is wearing their stuff!

James Dashner said...

Not a big fan of the old PB and banana combo. Tastes good, but it's like chewing on wet rubber cement. Gooey and sticky. I used to like it when I was a kid. I think.

Good point on the Degree. Maybe one of their execs will stumble upon my blog and send me a free box of Shower Clean scent deoderant. Wow, talk about bliss.

Rachelle said...

Yeah, I can totally see that you would prefer chewing on soggy, wet, tomat-y rubber cement instead :)

Tamra Norton said...

Okay, so forget about the peas. And just so ya know, the only "pit" I want to smell is Brad.

W.L. Elliott said...

Peanut butter and pickles, kids - the only way to go!

But I'll leave my tomato soup for a grilled cheese sandwich - PB and tomato just doesn't do a thing for me.

And please, sarahk, tell us more about our dear James!

James Dashner said...

Tami, you are too funny. Ya know, I get so sick of people comparing me to Brad Pitt. Honestly, stop.

Rachelle . . . good point. But try it. You'll never go back.

And W.L. Elliott, just because sarahk is a distant relation (well, sister) doesn't mean she has permission to tell any further embarrassing stories about me.

Luisa Perkins said...

Dude, I only know two guy bloggers well. And I tagged you both on Tuesday, so I thought it was too soon to hit you up again. But go for it, if you want. I'm sure one of the other gals will give you an official tag, if you prefer.

Traci Hunter Abramson said...

What makes me cringe more, feet obsessions or peanut butter toast in tomato soup? Definitely a toss up (along with people wanting to smell your armpits!) Can't blame you for keeping a scrapbook on your favorite baseball team though. Personally, I was a Dodgers fan growing up.

SarahK said...

He pushed me down once..and locked me out of the house. I'm still in therapy for it.

James Dashner said...

How many times have I apologized for that? Can a man have some peaceful reprieve? You provoked it anyway.

Traci, until ten years ago, the Dodgers were by far the team I hated the most (Yankees took their place). I'll never forget the division title coming down to the last game in 1991. Too bad they aren't in the same division anymore.

I guess we can still be friends.

Kelly said...

Oh Jamie! I think you ought to share some of this at those Davis County school visits coming up. . .
I don't see how anyone who would ruin PB toast with tomato soup can turn down some fresh sugar snap peas.
And I easily believe the story about the kids at your sisters apartments. . . it was only a few years later that you had poor young Christian slicing tomatoes to put on your elaborate sandwich he made under your instruction.
Go Dodgers!

James Dashner said...

Kelly, great to hear from you! LOL bringing up the story about Christian and the best sandwich ever made. (except for that meatball and green pepper one I had at Subway in Cedar City after hiking all day ten years ago with Ben and Darin)

I'm tellin ya. Try the PB toast and tomato soup. TRY IT!!!!

The Whitney's said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Whitney's said...

I think Degree should send you a lifetime supply of deoderant just for mentioning them in your blog, lol.

As for peas... The best way I find to "choke them down" is like this: Rice, peas, corn, and cream of chicken soup all mixed together. It's a delicious and easy to make combo :)

And, I too have a brother that has an admiration for himself. Though, it's not his feet, he does however, LOVE taking pictures of himself in general. Just himself, nothing precise, just his face... whatever funny pose, or place, or action he can do, if he has his camera... he'll take a picture. He's got over 1000 pictures of himself on his computer. I think he's in love or something... Now we just need to send him on his mission to see if he'll change that at all. Although, if he does end up going, maybe he'll have the best missionary pictures of all time??? Who knows. I love my brother. (There is a picture of him on my profile that he had a friend take at IKEA in California. It's actually a pretty neato shot)

SarahK said...

Is that Kelly E?!?!?!

Deb said...

I'm buying my husband new deoderant tomorrow. You should definitely be getting kickbacks from Degree.

Peas = rat's eyes. At least, that's what we called them when I was a kid.

James Dashner said...

Yes! A pea hater!!!!!

so grateful to be Mormon! said...

this was fun. i loved the guardian angel experience, too. hi, my first time here. i came to see you from the buzz. enjoyed this, kathleen :)

so grateful to be Mormon! said...

oh and the deodorant bit was hilarious!

Bonnie (used to be Ball) said...

When did Paul develop a foot fetish? I don't remember that from HS. Now, I do remember him being obsessed about his hair and a certian girl in Washington state but never heard of the foot thing. Is that something that arrived with middle age?

I do remember hearing about the the sleepwalking. ::shudder::

When are you making a trip back home??

James Dashner said...

Bonnie! Well, hello there! Glad to see you found your way here. Talk about a nice blast from the past.

And yes, Paul has issues. You already knew this, but they've grown worse through the years.